


The fucking road that leads me to you

by Mayloc



Category: The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Season 2 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 18:57:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17473148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mayloc/pseuds/Mayloc
Summary: Frank's thoughts during ep.11 TPS2





	The fucking road that leads me to you

Karen is there when Frank opens his eyes and all the memories wake up with him along with the pain of his body.

_She shouldn’t be anywhere near the monster._

Frank can’t move, he can’t put any distance between them, so the only thing he can do is not looking at her and just being an asshole because he is good at that after all.

_“You know better than that.”_

Yeah, he knows. Hell if he doesn’t know that just some rude words won’t scare Karen Page away, but he has to try anyway because he can’t fucking move and she is so close to the monster.

_“I don’t really think you want me to go.”_

And yet, he doesn’t want her to be there, not after what he’s done. For the first time since he saw her face a thousand beatings ago, Frank _actually_ wants her to walk away from his shitty life. She doesn’t deserve what he has become.

Frank still refuses to look at her but he hears the same determination in her voice, the same fucking conviction in his cause and he finally can’t take it. Karen can’t fix it. She can’t fix _him_ and he won't let her, not anymore.

_Three women._

So Frank tells her the truth thus she could hate him once and for all and leave for good.

But she stays.

_“Doesn’t change how I feel about you.”_

And goddamnit she is still so _fucking_ stubborn.

_“It should.”_

_“It doesn’t.”_

***

The second time Frank wakes up in that hospital it’s a fucking nightmare and, for a moment, he doesn’t even know where he is.

Karen is still there and she asks, so he tells her because is just that easy with Karen. Frank talks about his family and he breaks and she is there _once again_ to pick up the pieces. 

And he has no right.

But Frank is lost and his hands are shaking and her hands are there to bring his sanity-if any- back. He can feel the warm of her fingers between his and the way it feels, _the way he feels about her_ it’s so damn real it hurts.

Frank begs she won’t let go.

_***_

_“You are not a monster.”_

It doesn’t change shit.

***

Karen is yelling at him again, for the second time in the day.

_“You can’t keep loving people in your dreams!”_

Frank pauses, because even when it’s like that and he keeps fighting against her stubbornness, her passion overtakes him like a truck. He doesn’t tell her about his other dream.

They are in her apartment. She offers him a beer while taking her shoes off. It’s been a long day at work and she is tired but she smiles when he gives her some stupid flowers and she let him breathe her sweet smell when she hugs him. He can’t stay there any longer. He needs to leave. But he _stays_.

Instead, Frank just says it.

_“I don’t want to.”_

He says it and his whole body aches. Frank sees her breaking too, but he keeps talking – words burning in his mouth - because she needs to stay away from that madness at any cost. She needs to understand.

But then, the moment Karen walks away _at last,_ he panics.

_Fucking coward._

***

When Frank thanks her for being at his side it doesn’t feel quite well. It sounds so goddamn weak because is not even _close_ of what he’s feeling and Karen knows it.

_“So make it mean something.”_

He wish he could. He wish he could tell her how deep she can reach, how hard she _affects_ him. He wants to _show her_. But he’s running out of time and it’s getting harder to say good bye.

_“I gotta walk out of here and you can’t do it with me.”_

Frank doesn’t kiss her and Karen just let him go because that’s how it works for them. That’s how it works for _him,_ even if it hurts like hell to be hurting her and he hates it. There's no other way.

Luckily, one day she’d just stop caring and she'd just stop showing up. Because- if not - one day, he could not leave.

And Karen deserves better.


End file.
